”If You Believe You Can Or You Believe You Can’t, Either Way You’re Probably Right…”
You
may have heard someone say this about beliefs. It sounds contradictory,
even ridiculous, but you had better believe that it’s right!
Understanding your beliefs, how they control your life and the traps
caused by beliefs is a key ingredient in the mental game of success.
WHAT ARE BELIEFS
Very simply beliefs are those things that we believe to be true.
The
first trap is that beliefs are personal – what we believe is not the
same as what other people believe – two people can look at exactly the
same thing and have different beliefs about it… and both can be right.
Yet we all fall into the trap of believing that our beliefs are right while anyone who holds different beliefs is wrong!
Some
beliefs are built from shared experiences – we all believe that gravity
will cause objects to fall to the ground – most people recognise this
one! These basic beliefs which come from incontrovertible external facts
are shared by the whole of humanity.
However, the majority of
beliefs are not so clearly defined. They are about ourselves and the
world we live in- who we are, how we should react, what is good for us,
what is bad for us, who we should trust, who likes us… These beliefs are
more likely to be shared by smaller groups of people – our friends,
family, our cultural groups – or be personal to you as an individual.
Beliefs
are formed throughout your life, in childhood, by copying people you
respect, as a results of repetitive events, or even single, very
emotional or traumatic events. You can also pick up beliefs from your
culture and your environment. You will have some beliefs for your entire
life while beliefs about some things may be changed several times
during your life.
It is also important to realise beliefs are
not values. Values are more fundamental statements about what is
important for you and often underpin your beliefs. You can find out more
about values in my article “Are Your Personal Values Aligned With Your
Path to Success?”
Values frequently support your beliefs,
although you can also hold beliefs that conflict with our values.
Getting beliefs and values lined up is important if you want to be
successful.
While you have maybe a few tens of values, you certainly have thousands of beliefs about every subject under the sun.
WHAT DO BELIEFS DO FOR US?
Beliefs
are like a lens through which we look at the world. Like a lens they
fundamentally distort, reshape and change the importance of the
information that we take in through our senses creating the view that we
really have of the world.
Beliefs have a strong effect on your
behaviour, if you believe you should do something or think something
then you usually end up doing or thinking it!
Beliefs strongly
influence both what we do and what we learn from our environment - it is
difficult for you to learn anything or do anything that you believe is
going to be unpleasant or bad for you.
"IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN OR YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN'T..."
Beliefs
not only shape our view of the world but they also control the way that
we react, for example if you believe that someone does not like you,
you are not going to react to them in same friendly way that you would
to one of your friends.
Of course it may be that your belief is
completely mistaken, that person may actually like you. However because
you have decided that they don’t like you, you continue to react to them
as if they were hostile and little by little their opinion of you
becomes more negative.
If only you had started with a more positive belief…
Another
example is the well known medical “placebo effect” in which something
as simple as water administered in a way that causes you to believe that
it is the drug that is going to cure you can in fact be as effective as
the real drug.
==>Beliefs can have a shockingly powerful grip on your mind!!
WARNING - LIMITING BELIEFS CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE!
We’ve
seen that beliefs can shape our world by affecting the way we perceive
it and by affecting the way that we react to it. We have also seen how
powerful they can be. This can make them a fantastic tool for you or a
mortal enemy.
Positive beliefs that support your goals and
values will produce very positive results for you. However, through no
fault of your own, you have almost certainly acquired some limiting
beliefs during your childhood.
Limiting beliefs often begin with
you saying to yourself “I can’t…”. They may even have been true, or are
still true at some time in your life. The danger is that you are likely
to automatically apply these beliefs to the rest of your life –
jeopardising your future and your success.
For example it may
be true that you don’t know how to do something today, but so often, the
way that this is expressed is as “I can’t do…”. If you say that often
enough it becomes a belief and as you’ve seen, this belief becomes the
truth.
Even worse are limiting beliefs that are not based on the
truth but on some belief that has been instilled into by your parents,
your friends, your society… If you believe that you’re destined to be
poor or that you’re not capable of making money, well the outcome is
inevitable.
GIVE YOUR BELIEFS A CHECK-UP
Think very
carefully about your beliefs, for the next seven days, watch yourself as
you interact with people. Look for those “I can’t…” statements.
Identify them, write them down, ask yourself just how much harm are they
doing you. Do you really want to let them kill your chance of success?
Every
time you find yourself making one of those “I can’t…” statements, turn
it into a “How can I…” statement – “I can’t make more money” becomes
“How can I make more money”. Can you feel the difference? If you do this
consistently you’d better believe that you will find a difference in
your life!
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